Identifying Emotional Abusers
We had earlier written about emotional abusers on this blog, and we’ve received a very positive response from our large number of readers and clients. Many were able to identify the abuse in their lives and managed to deal with it.
We feel it’s important to identify difficult people, self-obsessed individuals, insistent personalities, and narcissists. People can be hard to deal with in many situations—whether in an employer-employee relationship, student-teacher dynamic, sibling interactions, and especially in marital relationships, where both partners can sometimes act difficult, insistent, demanding, self-obsessed, or narcissistic.
Various strategies have been identified and adopted to deal with such people—from being firm to using isolation or not responding to their demands.
But the most effective strategy so far has been setting boundaries. This helps make them understand how far they’re allowed to go and how much of their behavior will be tolerated.
The “Setting Boundaries” Method
This technique helps manage interactions with emotional, commanding, controlling, or narcissistic people. The idea is to subtly show them that no matter what they do, your response will be bland, unresponsive, and uninteresting—like a solid wall. They begin to feel that interacting with you emotionally will lead to dull, detached, and unsatisfying outcomes. This signals that you’re not interested in engaging with their behavior.
This mental boundary-setting strategy has worked well for many of our clients dealing with toxic relationships.
Benefits of Setting Boundaries:
- Takes away control by denying the emotional reactions they seek
- Protects your emotional well-being and mental health
- Limits exposure to manipulation, insults, drama, and conflict
- Reduces stress and anxiety in difficult interactions
How It Works
Setting boundaries isn’t complicated. It just involves using simple communication techniques like:
- Keeping interactions short and to the point
- Using a neutral tone and facial expression
- Avoiding eye contact
- Responding with short, non-descriptive words
- Staying calm and emotionally detached
- Offering no explanations
- Not defending yourself
Some call this “grey rocking.” If someone uses these behaviors to keep a narcissistic, unpleasant, or abusive person at bay, it’s a valid approach.
Keeping Your Mind Balanced
This takes time and practice. But once you get used to it, navigating tough interactions becomes easier and less draining.
Here’s how you can stay balanced:
- Practice perceptive mindfulness. Stay aware of your emotional reactions and learn to manage them.
- Know your boundaries. Be clear about what’s acceptable to you and what’s not.
- Prepare responses in advance. Think through common situations and decide how you’ll respond neutrally.
- Seek support. Talk to a trusted friend or therapist about what you’re going through.
We at Alka Mansik Pramarsh Foundation are here to help.
Reach us by email at mansikpramarsh@gmail.com or give us a call.
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