Setting your kid up for success

In a race for tiny tots a mother is encouraging her child to run and finish almost half a mile track .The pride on her face and her child lights up flashing smiles all around establishing a bond of trust and confidence in both of them.

Similarly another mother beams with pride when her daughter walks upto the stage to receive a certificate of excellence in her school declamation contest .

Such a bond between the parent and the child makes life easier for the child . A mother is always there when a child is stuck up and doesn’t know “How to handle the situation”.

A mother gets stressed and suffers equally when she finds her child struggling .She can feel the pangs as she looks at her child suffering. A mother can sense her borns anxiety due to natural bonding and empathy .

She wishes she could help her child when her born is struggling, She feels for her child and takes the task over from child . Most of the mothers do it .

However it can also mean curbing a child’s sense of freedom if a mother takes on everything in her hand .It is not necessary for a mother to make her child dependent on her for everything.

A mother’s support ,training and encouragement is an absolute necessity to help her children learn the first basics of human communication and interaction . There are small, steady ways to support them without feeling like a mother has to fix everything. 

A mother lives through the urge to protect her little one when she watches her child learning the small steps — and her heart runs faster while reaching out to protect and help the little one .
But as the little one starts growing to exert and express a new sense of autonomy and identity ,it’s the time when the problem begins .

The mother realises her ward is growing when he or she adamantly declares “I’m not going to school today”, at the last minute when mother is anxious to drop him or her at the Montessori /school or at the bus stop when she wants the child to hurry up .So that she can herself get ready to leave for her work.

Or when the child doesn’t want to sit for doing the homework with mother but insists on doing different things .The mother’s anxiety reaches its peak when she notices her child avoiding the task on account of various issues .
At this stage every mother faces two basic emotions , “is my child doing fine? can I help the child more ?or Am I doing enough for his or her growth ?”.
If any of this feels familiar, you are not the only mother and certainly not alone. It is something that every mother faces every day and struggles .

A mother can help her child develop better confidence by not taking over every activity of the child but by being available on hand and encouraging the child to try all new activities and difficult things independently but being close around him just in case the child needs help.

Remember: You can make him learn things only if you keep check on your emotions while allowing him to practice everything in your presence .Stay close to the child without taking over the activity from the child .
Allow the child learn and think differently, and you will see everyday challenges building up skill and confidence in your child .

These little steps can help every mother and her child

1. Break the harder learning into smaller easier learnable steps.

2. Extend your support and Help without taking over.Let the child know you are there .

3. Praise the effort and assure the child he can do it .

4. Keep your calm when the child feels stressed and wait for him to restart it again .

5. Don’t push to bring him out of the feelings.

6. Do not unnecessary try to divert allow time to think for himself.

6. Let the child ask for help and not shy away . Intervention at the right time keeps the pressure away .

Remember that the growth happens over time and step by step .Both mother and child learn things together to make them happen .