Suzy and Amit have been going steady for quite sometime now.Their families were happy that both of them had eventually decided to get married. Suzy was happy too as she celebrated the announcement of her engagement to Amit to all her friends by throwing a grand party. Amit too had attended it but he did not seem to be very happy with the decision. He wanted some more time to decide but had to say yes on account of family insistence.Suzy was quite taken aback by his reluctance.Suzy’s mother suggested they should consult a family therapist.
Nalini had finally found the love of her life when Abhishek had proposed to her . She was however zittery of sharing her life with someone for all times to come .She wanted that both she and her fiance Abhishek should consult a marriage counsellor to understand what lay in their life after wedding.
The decision to get married is a very happy moment but at the same time individuals (irrespective of the fact whether they are male or female) get very apprehensive of sharing their freedom, space, individuality and even responsibility of handing over the managing of their lives to someone else. Falling in love and getting engaged to someone you have fancied as life partner is very fascinating. The post engagement is a thrilling and a very delightful time. It is a time when dating, dreaming and fanciful planning takes place between the couples. Most of the couples come close and become emotionally fond of each other. The physicality of intimacy, close proximity and the idea of having fallen in love are very intoxicating. This period is the time to know each other and thereby cementing ties for a happy life long relationship. The couples in addition to falling in love should preferably take out some time together to get a positive premarital counseling. Such a premarital counseling will help the couples uncover and resolve many issues that could become too late after having been married.
Let us see what the premarital counseling means to newly engaged couple:
Premarital Counseling – a future Relationship Therapy: As blissful couples go through their engagement, looking at their own ring and adoring the engagement. They get busy preparing their wedding trousseau , finalizing wedding plans. There are enough people to take care of the details of the accessories. The couple should take out some time for the most important thing of all – their relationship at present and their relationship that is being built up through the sacred marriage. In earlier times of joint family systems, an older sister, sister in law, other seniors in the family like a grandmother, or an older aunt, some close family friend took over the counseling of the bride to be or the groom to be. But the independent single family system has deprived such a privilege to modern couples. Social thinkers and family psychologists recommend that each couple who has opted to get married and tie the knot should go through at least one session of premarital counseling. Couples may have specific needs in premarital counseling and therapy, such as following particular religious faith and culture, maintaining traditions of their family issues and the questions of sharing their personal world, privacy or possessions with another person and likewise, so there could be many questions lurking about the future life.
What is premarital counselling? premarital counseling is advice and counseling imparted to a young couple (man and woman) who are about to get married shortly. The counseling usually is imparted to the couple together. But many a times individual counseling is also undertaken to assist the individuals in removing many of the myths, fears, misconceptions which could lead to conflicts in marriage later, if not handled at the individual level. The premarital counseling is facilitated by a qualified psychologist who has had the experience of dealing with marital and family problems for a long time. The premarital counseling renders
- Help to the couples to identify those areas of conflict that could become problematic later on in their lives.
- Assist couples in developing understanding for the changed roles in their lives and the expected mutual adjustments expected from now on in their lives.
- Equip them with the skills to enjoy and pilot their way through a meaningful marriage successfully.
- To develop as responsible fun loving companions for each other and to the other family members.
- A professional counselor addressing the pre-marital counseling to the couple will make use of many kinds of assessment criterion to help the couple understand the rosy as well as bleak areas which could either make the marriage enjoyable journey or fill it up with potential complications. The psychologist will address some of the common areas given below at the time of premarital counseling:
- Male –female Sexuality and its implications /expectations in a married life.
- Interests and Activities of a married couple and as individual entities
- Role Expectations for both the partners
- Personal Adjustment /accommodation for a successful marriage.
- Interpersonal Communication and interfamily adjustments
- Culture, Morality, Ethics, Religion And Philosophy
- Marriage Expectations and the changed life thereafter
- Family Issues and mutual responsibility
- Finances- income- individual-shared
- Personal growth, family growth, Children ,and Parenting