Author: Ramneek Kapoor

Mr. Ramneek Kapoor Postgraduate Dip.in Counselling and Family Therapy,M.A.Clinical Psychology, M.A.Science of Living Preksha Meditation & Yoga,M.A.Eng,M.B.A,P.G.D.M.S.M. A well known family therapist, relationship counselor, clinical psychologist and counseling psychologist.Dr. Kapoor is an expert in clinical analysis of the marital emotional issues,Family therapy, Relationship therapy, Marital therapy ,relationship counseling , psychotherapies , Cognitive Behavior Therapy, Solution Focused based short term therapy, Group therapy, , counseling for Suicidal Patients, depression, anxiety, stress and anger Management techniques and Relaxation techniques to mention a few.He has been actively involved in helping families, elderly couples, married couples, dating couples with their mental health and well being . He has been acknowledged as the best mentor family therapist of young children , school kids, adolescents and young college going youth, married couples ,elderly people suffering from mental, psychological and emotional issues in their lives. He is presently working as “Family Therapist, Relationship Counselor ,Clinical and Counseling Psychologist” in Alka Mansik Pramarsh Foundation, Indore (M.P.) dealing in family therapy , relationship psychology, clinical psychology , child psychology, Neuro-psychology.

KEEPING MARIAGE ALIVE

Ramneek Kapoor

Love is a beautiful song .But love is a lonely song if either of the love birds moves away .Love becomes a bitter song if the bitterness in relationship comes in .But love remains under all conditions sweet or bitter and the fragrance lingers on .

It is wonderful feeling to be in love and date each other. While dating prior to the commitment made to each other for a long term relationship, the couples meet for a while and then pine for each other till they meet at the next date. Everything is seen by them from behind the rosy shades of love and affection for each other.

The emotions of possessiveness and yearning do not bring in the mundane communication of a daily grinds of life. But being in a long-term relationship isn’t merely pining for the lover’s physical intimacy alone, it is a feeling of always being there ,always connected and always understanding without the use of words .

Being in long term relationships will involve managing and taking care of many other lives in addition to the lives of the lovers. And it is not an easy task. Both people need to accommodate themselves to new family environment and new relationships in their lives.

Over a period of time ,they will have to raise their own new family unit together to make their family home a happy abode to come to and partaking the joys of love and affection.

They however need to then communicate over many other issues in addition to the romance and love in marriage. Their issues that gain priority over love may pertain to jobs and careers, money and household expense, household work and taking care of the babies, social, cultural and religious affairs, parenting and in many cases taking care of the aged and old in the families.

As a couple begins their journey into the long-term relationship of wedded bliss, their love for each other many a times may take a back seat and the love gets reduced to a few stolen kisses and quickies here and there.

The couple forgets about nurturing and keeping the flame of love and desire for each other alive. Soon the infatuation of physical hunger wears off and then the focus shifts from the affection to the problems. The stark realities of need for more money, career priorities and of culture, of religion, and of family may cause concerns and small squabbles. Before these squabbles get blown into major issues and a beautiful relationship begins to disintegrate;the couple needs to understand that every relationship is important in life and more so with the one with whom you have to spend your life time.

Needless to say, that every difference and misunderstanding should be treated as worth working for and saving. once the infatuation begins to fade.

Communication is the only tool and doorway to establish a better understanding. Essentially the couple, need to take  up all those problems that are causing strangled relationship .

For further indulgence contact us

http://www.familytherapyindia.com

http://www.mansikpramarsh.com

Proven Tips for a Lifelong, Loving Relationship

Ramneek Kapoor

It is a wonderful feeling to be in love and dating. During the early stages of dating, couples often feel excitement and anticipation, waiting eagerly for their next meeting. Everything is seen through the rosy lens of romance, with affection and passion at the forefront. During this honeymoon phase, couples are less likely to encounter the daily challenges that come with long-term commitment.

Challenges in Long-Term Relationships

However, being in a long-term relationship is not just about physical intimacy or romance. Lasting relationships require managing responsibilities together, such as:

  • Adjusting to new family dynamics
  • Building a family unit
  • Managing jobs and careers
  • Sharing household expenses
  • Dividing household chores
  • Taking care of children
  • Participating in social, cultural, and religious affairs
  • Supporting elderly family members

Over time, happy couples realize that communication is the foundation of a successful partnership. As responsibilities grow, partners may find that romance sometimes fades into the background. Small disagreements about money, work, family obligations, or cultural differences can become frequent, and if not addressed, may escalate into bigger problems.

How to Nurture a Loving Relationship

Maintaining the flame of love in a long-term relationship takes effort and intention. Here are some proven relationship advice tips to keep your connection strong:

  • Prioritize Communication: Regular, honest conversations help address issues before they grow.
  • Value Each Other: Treat every misunderstanding as an opportunity to grow together.
  • Keep the Romance Alive: Make time for small gestures of affection to strengthen your bond.
  • Share Responsibilities: Work as a team in managing life’s challenges.

Building a Lifelong Connection

The key to transforming an unhappy couple into a happy couple is understanding that every relationship requires work, patience, and empathy. Remember: the most important relationship in your life deserves your time and attention. By addressing problems early and communicating openly, your relationship can thrive for years to come.

By putting in the work, prioritizing one another, and tackling problems as a team, couples can create a supportive partnership that grows stronger over time. Remember, true happiness in a relationship isn’t about avoiding difficulties, but about growing together through them. With the right mindset and these proven relationship tips, you can build a loving, lifelong bond that stands the test of time.

Unseen Depression in Couples Can Stall Counselling Progress

Ramneek Kapoor

Note: The names in this article are fictional, but the cases are real‑life situations.

When Deepti contacted me recently, she was worried about her husband, Sameer. For quite some time she had noticed changes in his behaviour. He was often irritable and generally not the man she knew. She believed he was depressed, but Sameer avoided admitting it or seeking help. After much persuasion she finally brought him in for a counselling session, and I suggested she sit in as well. Couples counselling often reveals hidden dynamics.

After several sessions it became clear the issue was not only Sameer’s depression; Deepti was struggling too, although she hadn’t realised it. Both were in denial about their emotional health, each convinced the other was the one who needed help. I see this often: it’s easier to blame a partner than look in the mirror.

Denial and deflection in relationships

A common pattern is the “It’s not me, it’s you” mindset around emotions. People dislike admitting something is wrong—especially when the word depression appears. The stigma makes admitting depression feel like defeat, so partners shift all blame to each other.

Deepti’s words show this clearly:

“Sameer says our problems exist because of me, and he tells people if I weren’t depressed we’d be fine. But honestly, I think he’s the one who’s depressed. He’s always complaining, and whenever things don’t go his way, he lashes out at me.”

While Sameer focused on Deepti’s supposed depression, she was battling her own. Neither saw how their emotional states fed off each other. It’s common: partners fixate on the other’s behaviour and ignore their own mental health.

Emotional alienation and its cost

Marriage and argument go hand in hand. Differences of opinion are normal. Trouble starts when every disagreement turns into a full‑blown fight and no one can build a bridge. Depression magnifies conflicts, making everyday issues seem larger and more upsetting than they are. Minor clashes feel like assaults on someone already vulnerable, and couples retreat into isolation.

For Deepti and Sameer, depression ran deep. Sameer’s mood swings and blame‑shifting grew from his own struggles. Deepti felt constantly on the defensive and withdrew. Both wore emotional blinders; neither saw how their feelings fed the problem.

Depression and marital conflict

Depression in relationships doesn’t always appear as expected. One partner may feel the other is hostile when that isn’t true. A small irritation suddenly becomes a crisis. With depression involved, everything feels heavier.

What looked like a simple concern—Sameer’s mental‑health dilemma—revealed that both partners were depressed and that their relationship nurtured it. He became irritable and emotionally shut down, while Deepti felt frustrated and isolated—classic signs of emotional exhaustion.

Sameer believed everything would improve if Deepti weren’t depressed; Deepti believed the same about Sameer’s negativity. Neither realised their shared emotional state lay at the heart of the problem.

Many see depression as something that happens to “other people” or as a personal failure, so couples deny it and point to each other’s actions. Yet mental health in relationships is rarely individual; it’s rooted in how partners relate. If one struggles, the other feels the effects—even if they deny it.

Seema and Jatin: a layer of complexity

Every couple’s story is unique. Seema and Jatin (names changed) were young doctors starting their careers and life together.

One day Seema threatened suicide because Jatin chatted with female colleagues. It stunned him. He hadn’t thought of them romantically, and no amount of explanation eased Seema’s suspicions.

That single incident became a pattern. Seema’s insecurity and emotional instability drained Jatin. He pulled back from friends and family to avoid the drama at home. He told me:

“Seema has idealised suicide since college. We’ve been together seven years, and she throws tantrums only with me. She’ll break up over the smallest things, stay silent for days, then act normal. It’s exhausting, and I have no one to talk to—she seems fine around others.”

The emotional disconnect was huge. Jatin felt he was drowning; Seema didn’t know how to express her needs without terrifying him.

The effect of unmet emotional needs

Depression often grows from unmet emotional needs. Feeling unheard or unloved can spiral into inadequacy and depression. Seema needed Jatin’s attention so intensely that when she didn’t receive it as expected, her balance collapsed.

Jatin tried to hold everything together yet felt hostage to Seema’s demands. Their lack of emotional bonding fed both depressions, and neither saw a way out.

Breaking the cycle

How can couples like Deepti and Sameer or Seema and Jatin break free? They must acknowledge that depression isn’t just an individual illness; it’s shaped by the relationship dynamic. Each partner needs to see how the other’s emotional state affects their own.

Individual therapy helps one person’s conflicts, but couples therapy is vital because it shows how the relationship contributes to the problem. With shared effort, partners can address the emotional disconnect that fuels depression and change it constructively.

The power of mutual support

Marriage is a partnership. Each partner must care about the other’s emotional well‑being; no one can fix everything alone. Mutual support lifts depression and strengthens the bond. Deepti and Sameer improved only when they both accepted their depression and searched for ways to heal together.

Seeking help together

If you or your spouse is depressed, both of you need treatment. Depression is treatable, but it requires effort from each partner. Couples therapy can help you overcome emotional hurdles and rebuild your relationship.

Two are stronger than one. United, couples can find their way back. This isn’t about blame; it’s about knowing you’re in it together. Marriage is a journey, and depression can strain even strong relationships, but it doesn’t have to define them. Acknowledge its role, seek help, and face the road ahead as a team.

We offer family, relationship, and marriage counselling for families, men, women, and couples—whether you have children, are newly married, are considering separation, are divorcing, or are facing any relationship difficulty. We help partners understand each other’s mental and emotional states, improve communication, and overcome obstacles blocking their happiness.

Get in touch with us today or write to us at mansikpramarsh@gmail.com.

How to Identify and Set Boundaries with Emotional Abusers and Difficult People

Ramneek Kapoor

Identifying Emotional Abusers

We had earlier written about emotional abusers on this blog, and we’ve received a very positive response from our large number of readers and clients. Many were able to identify the abuse in their lives and managed to deal with it.

We feel it’s important to identify difficult people, self-obsessed individuals, insistent personalities, and narcissists. People can be hard to deal with in many situations—whether in an employer-employee relationship, student-teacher dynamic, sibling interactions, and especially in marital relationships, where both partners can sometimes act difficult, insistent, demanding, self-obsessed, or narcissistic.

Various strategies have been identified and adopted to deal with such people—from being firm to using isolation or not responding to their demands.

But the most effective strategy so far has been setting boundaries. This helps make them understand how far they’re allowed to go and how much of their behavior will be tolerated.

The “Setting Boundaries” Method

This technique helps manage interactions with emotional, commanding, controlling, or narcissistic people. The idea is to subtly show them that no matter what they do, your response will be bland, unresponsive, and uninteresting—like a solid wall. They begin to feel that interacting with you emotionally will lead to dull, detached, and unsatisfying outcomes. This signals that you’re not interested in engaging with their behavior.

This mental boundary-setting strategy has worked well for many of our clients dealing with toxic relationships.

Benefits of Setting Boundaries:

  • Takes away control by denying the emotional reactions they seek
  • Protects your emotional well-being and mental health
  • Limits exposure to manipulation, insults, drama, and conflict
  • Reduces stress and anxiety in difficult interactions

How It Works

Setting boundaries isn’t complicated. It just involves using simple communication techniques like:

  • Keeping interactions short and to the point
  • Using a neutral tone and facial expression
  • Avoiding eye contact
  • Responding with short, non-descriptive words
  • Staying calm and emotionally detached
  • Offering no explanations
  • Not defending yourself

Some call this “grey rocking.” If someone uses these behaviors to keep a narcissistic, unpleasant, or abusive person at bay, it’s a valid approach.

Keeping Your Mind Balanced

This takes time and practice. But once you get used to it, navigating tough interactions becomes easier and less draining.

Here’s how you can stay balanced:

  • Practice perceptive mindfulness. Stay aware of your emotional reactions and learn to manage them.
  • Know your boundaries. Be clear about what’s acceptable to you and what’s not.
  • Prepare responses in advance. Think through common situations and decide how you’ll respond neutrally.
  • Seek support. Talk to a trusted friend or therapist about what you’re going through.

We at Alka Mansik Pramarsh Foundation are here to help.
Reach us by email at mansikpramarsh@gmail.com or give us a call.

Understanding the Real Causes Behind Oppositional Behaviours in Adolescents

Ramneek Kapoor

Note: The names and stories in this article are fictional and used to illustrate common scenarios faced by adolescents.

Joseph, a twelve-year-old boy, never quite understood why he was constantly at odds with those around him. Whenever he tried to express himself at home or school, his words were often misinterpreted as defiance. His father would rebuke him, and his mother would end up in tears, often blaming Joseph for the conflict. At school, he was labeled the troublemaker, isolated by teachers and peers alike.

Jatin, a thirteen-year-old, faced a similar fate. His teacher singled him out as the class disruptor, forcing him to sit away from his classmates, amplifying his feelings of embarrassment and rejection. Every time noise erupted in the classroom, Jatin was the first to be blamed, even when the real culprits were other students. Despite recognising his innocence later, the teacher rarely corrected the misunderstanding.

Swara’s parents were equally puzzled. Their once calm daughter had begun shouting back at them and her teachers, behavior they couldn’t comprehend. They viewed it as sulking and brought her to therapy, hoping for a quick fix.

Photo by Stephen Andrews on Pexels.com

These cases are not isolated. Many children and adolescents, like Joseph, Jatin, and Swara, are often labeled by parents and teachers as defiant, difficult, or problematic. They are frequently referred to psychologists or psychiatrists for behavior correction and treatment for Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD), ADHD, or similar issues. Concerns about aggressive outbursts, disrespect, truancy, self-harm threats, and even suicide attempts often drive parents to seek professional help. However, what often goes unnoticed is the underlying stress, trauma, and unhealthy family dynamics that contribute to these outward behaviors.

Teachers typically report uncooperative behavior to parents, who, in turn, resort to punishments or admonishments when corrective efforts fail. When these measures prove ineffective, they turn to mental health professionals with one primary expectation: “Just fix my kid.” Unfortunately, this approach overlooks the crucial role that parental involvement and a supportive, positive environment at school can play in managing and improving these behaviors.

Therapy alone is often not enough. Adolescents with ADHD, Dissocial Behavior, or Adjustment Disorder are likely to regress if they return to a negative or unsupportive environment at home or school. Without addressing the root causes and making holistic changes, relapse is almost inevitable.

In Joseph’s case, a few changes at school, combined with the support of an understanding teacher, led to significant improvement. He went from being labeled a troublemaker to becoming a favorite student among his teachers. Similarly, Swara’s parents became actively involved in her therapy, learning to adjust their expectations and create a healthier family environment. As a result, Swara became more tolerant and communicative, leading to a harmonious household.

Photo by Alexander Grey on Pexels.com

We’ve observed that a comprehensive approach involving the entire family, as well as collaboration with school teachers, is the most effective way to treat conditions like ODD, ADD, ADHD, and Dissocial Disorder. At Family Therapy India and Alka Mansik Pramarsh Foundation, we advocate for a top-down approach that includes active participation from both parents and teachers. This holistic method has proven to bring about positive, lasting changes in the behavior and emotional well-being of children and adolescents without resorting to medication.

It’s important to recognize that behavioral challenges in adolescents are rarely about defiance alone. They are often expressions of deeper struggles that require understanding, compassion, and a collective effort from families, schools, and therapists to create a nurturing environment for these young individuals to thrive.