FAMILY THERAPY INDIA

The Role of Friendship in Physical and Mental Health

February 21, 2026 Ramneek Kapoor

Friendship plays a measurable role in psychological and physiological well-being. Friendship shapes your internal stability more than most people admit.

It affects how you regulate stress, how you see yourself and how safe you feel in the world.

Studies consistently show that strong social bonds lower cortisol levels and reduce the risk of depression.

Chronic loneliness, by contrast, correlates with elevated inflammatory markers, higher cardiovascular risk, and increased likelihood of mood disorders. Social connection is not simply a preference. It functions as a protective factor.

Friendship also contributes to social health, defined as the ability to build, sustain, and navigate interpersonal relationships. Through friendship, individuals develop community, experience belonging, and buffer the effects of isolation.

Friendship Within Other Relationships

Friendship is often viewed as distinct from family or romantic partnership. In practice, it frequently exists within those bonds.

When friendship is present in a family relationship or romantic partnership, it introduces mutual respect, emotional safety, and ease of communication. The presence of friendship strengthens relational stability and increases resilience during conflict.

Friendship may also develop among coworkers, neighbors, or shared-interest groups. In these contexts, repeated interaction and shared experience create the conditions for trust and familiarity.

Is It Problematic to Lack Close Friends?

The psychological benefits attributed to friendship stem from emotional safety, reciprocity, and trust. These qualities may also exist within family systems or romantic partnerships.

Periods without close friendships are common during major life transitions, including relocation, career changes, divorce, or parenthood. During such phases, time constraints and shifting priorities often limit relational maintenance.

Temporary absence of close friendships does not necessarily indicate social impairment. It may reflect environmental or developmental changes.

Indicators of Healthy and Unhealthy Friendships

Healthy friendships are characterized by:

Mutual care: Each person values the other beyond utility.
Genuine affinity: Enjoyment of each other’s company independent of obligation.
Psychological safety: The ability to express thoughts, emotions, and identity without fear of rejection or ridicule.

Unhealthy friendships may involve manipulation, imbalance, emotional exploitation, or subtle coercion. Emotional harm can occur in platonic relationships as well as romantic ones.

Friendship and Mental Health

Consistent social support contributes to:

Reduced stress reactivity
Greater self-esteem
Lower likelihood of harmful coping behaviors
Improved health behaviors
Increased sense of belonging

Belonging functions as a stabilizing force for identity and emotional regulation.

Discussing Mental Health Within Friendships

Effective mental health conversations include:

Honest self-disclosure to model openness
Active listening without premature problem-solving
Reducing pressure to appear consistently positive
Encouraging professional support when appropriate

Friendship provides emotional support. It does not replace clinical care.

Supporting a Friend Experiencing Mental Health Challenges

Mental health conditions may affect reliability, communication, and emotional availability. Clear communication about expectations and boundaries protects both individuals.

Questions such as the following can clarify support:

What type of support is most helpful right now?
What feels sustainable for both parties?

Healthy friendships balance empathy with realistic limits.

Final Reflection

Friendship is not measured by quantity or constant contact. Its value lies in emotional safety, reciprocity, and trust.

Across different stages of life, friendships evolve. Some deepen. Some shift. Some end. What remains consistent is the human need for connection that affirms identity and reduces isolation.

Investing in healthy friendships requires intention. It involves showing up consistently, communicating clearly, and respecting boundaries. It also requires discernment—recognizing when a relationship supports your well-being and when it does not.

Mental health does not exist in isolation from relationships. The quality of your connections influences how you cope with stress, process adversity, and experience belonging.

Evaluating your friendships with honesty can be an important step in protecting your psychological health. Consider which relationships feel mutually supportive, which feel imbalanced, and where communication could be strengthened.

Healthy friendships do not demand perfection. They require presence, care, and accountability.

Connection remains one of the most protective factors in mental well-being.

Navigating the Honeymoon Phase to Long-Term Love

February 2, 2026 Ramneek Kapoor

During the early stages of dating, couples often experience a sense of excitement and anticipation that makes every interaction feel meaningful. They look forward to the next meeting, replay conversations in their heads, and feel emotionally charged by even the smallest gestures. Everything appears brighter and lighter, and partners often view each other through a romantic lens that highlights attraction, affection, and possibility. During this phase, love feels instinctive rather than intentional, and effort rarely feels like effort.

This honeymoon phase usually exists without the pressure of shared responsibility. Couples are focused on connection and discovery rather than coordination and compromise. Daily routines, long-term planning, and external expectations have not yet entered the picture in a significant way, which allows romance to stay front and center without much interference from real-life demands.

As relationships move forward, this dynamic naturally shifts.

Being in a long-term relationship extends far beyond physical intimacy or emotional closeness. It slowly becomes about building a shared life, which brings with it a wide range of responsibilities that require cooperation, communication, and emotional maturity. Partners often find themselves adjusting to new family dynamics, learning how to function as a unit within larger social systems, and balancing personal goals with collective needs. Careers demand time and energy, household expenses need planning, chores require division, and family obligations begin to carry more weight. For many couples, this phase also includes raising children, participating in cultural or religious traditions, and supporting ageing parents or relatives, all while trying to preserve their bond with each other.

These responsibilities do not appear one at a time. They overlap, compete for attention, and often intensify during already stressful periods of life. What once felt simple can begin to feel layered and complex, and love starts to be tested not by a lack of feeling but by the pressure of daily realities.

Over time, couples who remain happy begin to recognize that communication matters more than chemistry alone. Romance no longer sustains itself automatically, and emotional connection requires conscious effort. Small disagreements about money, work stress, family expectations, or cultural differences may start to occur more frequently. When these issues remain unspoken or unresolved, they rarely disappear. Instead, they settle quietly beneath the surface and resurface later as frustration or emotional distance.

Resentment usually builds through silence rather than conflict.

There is also an emotional shift that many people experience but struggle to articulate. In the early stages of a relationship, individuals often present a curated version of themselves. They show patience more easily, overlook irritations, and manage their reactions carefully. Over time, as comfort increases, this performance fades and reality takes its place. Stress becomes visible, exhaustion shows up, and vulnerabilities come to the surface. Life events such as health concerns, financial uncertainty, or family pressure begin to affect the relationship in tangible ways.

At this stage, couples are no longer simply dating each other. They are sharing real life.

This transition can feel unsettling. People may start to believe that love is fading because it no longer feels light or effortless. They may compare the present to the past and question whether something has gone wrong. In most cases, nothing is broken. The relationship is simply moving from fantasy into stability, from intensity into endurance.

Long-term love demands a different set of skills. It requires listening even when energy is low, staying engaged during uncomfortable conversations, and choosing repair over withdrawal. Love becomes less about emotional highs and more about consistency, reliability, and presence.

Couples who sustain their connection over time are not those who avoid disagreement. They are those who learn how to disagree without damaging trust. They communicate without belittling each other, manage conflict without escalating it, and understand that emotional safety strengthens attraction rather than diminishing it. They remain curious about each other even after years together, recognizing that both partners will continue to change.

Maintaining love in a long-term relationship requires intention rather than assumption. Communication needs to be regular and honest, not only during moments of crisis. Misunderstandings should be approached as opportunities for growth rather than competitions to be won. Romance needs to be created deliberately through attention, presence, and small acts of care, especially when life feels busy or overwhelming. Sharing responsibility, whether emotional or practical, helps partners feel supported rather than burdened.

Couples who stay connected also make space for conversations beyond logistics. They talk about how they are coping, not just what needs to be done. They notice effort and acknowledge it, understanding that appreciation strengthens emotional bonds. They protect their relationship from external noise, including family opinions, societal expectations, and comparison with others. They allow each other room to grow, recognizing that neither partner will remain the same person over time.

During conflict, they choose kindness alongside honesty. They speak with respect even when emotions run high, knowing that how something is said matters as much as what is said.

Relationships rarely fail because romance disappears. They struggle when communication stops, when resentment replaces curiosity, and when partners stop choosing each other in everyday moments. The most meaningful question couples can ask themselves during difficult phases is whether they are leaning toward understanding or retreating into distance.

Long-term love is not something that sustains itself without care. It is a practice that requires patience, empathy, and shared responsibility. When two people commit to showing up for each other consistently, adjusting when needed, and growing side by side, love does not fade. It matures into something steadier, deeper, and more resilient, offering a sense of grounding that only time and commitment can create.

KEEPING MARIAGE ALIVE

September 17, 2025September 17, 2025 Ramneek Kapoor

Love is a beautiful song .But love is a lonely song if either of the love birds moves away .Love becomes a bitter song if the bitterness in relationship comes in .But love remains under all conditions sweet or bitter and the fragrance lingers on .

It is wonderful feeling to be in love and date each other. While dating prior to the commitment made to each other for a long term relationship, the couples meet for a while and then pine for each other till they meet at the next date. Everything is seen by them from behind the rosy shades of love and affection for each other.

The emotions of possessiveness and yearning do not bring in the mundane communication of a daily grinds of life. But being in a long-term relationship isn’t merely pining for the lover’s physical intimacy alone, it is a feeling of always being there ,always connected and always understanding without the use of words .

Being in long term relationships will involve managing and taking care of many other lives in addition to the lives of the lovers. And it is not an easy task. Both people need to accommodate themselves to new family environment and new relationships in their lives.

Over a period of time ,they will have to raise their own new family unit together to make their family home a happy abode to come to and partaking the joys of love and affection.

They however need to then communicate over many other issues in addition to the romance and love in marriage. Their issues that gain priority over love may pertain to jobs and careers, money and household expense, household work and taking care of the babies, social, cultural and religious affairs, parenting and in many cases taking care of the aged and old in the families.

As a couple begins their journey into the long-term relationship of wedded bliss, their love for each other many a times may take a back seat and the love gets reduced to a few stolen kisses and quickies here and there.

The couple forgets about nurturing and keeping the flame of love and desire for each other alive. Soon the infatuation of physical hunger wears off and then the focus shifts from the affection to the problems. The stark realities of need for more money, career priorities and of culture, of religion, and of family may cause concerns and small squabbles. Before these squabbles get blown into major issues and a beautiful relationship begins to disintegrate;the couple needs to understand that every relationship is important in life and more so with the one with whom you have to spend your life time.

Needless to say, that every difference and misunderstanding should be treated as worth working for and saving. once the infatuation begins to fade.

Communication is the only tool and doorway to establish a better understanding. Essentially the couple, need to take up all those problems that are causing strangled relationship .

For further indulgence contact us

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Proven Tips for a Lifelong, Loving Relationship

July 17, 2025July 17, 2025 Ramneek Kapoor

It is a wonderful feeling to be in love and dating. During the early stages of dating, couples often feel excitement and anticipation, waiting eagerly for their next meeting. Everything is seen through the rosy lens of romance, with affection and passion at the forefront. During this honeymoon phase, couples are less likely to encounter the daily challenges that come with long-term commitment.

Challenges in Long-Term Relationships

However, being in a long-term relationship is not just about physical intimacy or romance. Lasting relationships require managing responsibilities together, such as:

Adjusting to new family dynamics
Building a family unit
Managing jobs and careers
Sharing household expenses
Dividing household chores
Taking care of children
Participating in social, cultural, and religious affairs
Supporting elderly family members

Over time, happy couples realize that communication is the foundation of a successful partnership. As responsibilities grow, partners may find that romance sometimes fades into the background. Small disagreements about money, work, family obligations, or cultural differences can become frequent, and if not addressed, may escalate into bigger problems.

How to Nurture a Loving Relationship

Maintaining the flame of love in a long-term relationship takes effort and intention. Here are some proven relationship advice tips to keep your connection strong:

Prioritize Communication: Regular, honest conversations help address issues before they grow.
Value Each Other: Treat every misunderstanding as an opportunity to grow together.
Keep the Romance Alive: Make time for small gestures of affection to strengthen your bond.
Share Responsibilities: Work as a team in managing life’s challenges.

Building a Lifelong Connection

The key to transforming an unhappy couple into a happy couple is understanding that every relationship requires work, patience, and empathy. Remember: the most important relationship in your life deserves your time and attention. By addressing problems early and communicating openly, your relationship can thrive for years to come.

By putting in the work, prioritizing one another, and tackling problems as a team, couples can create a supportive partnership that grows stronger over time. Remember, true happiness in a relationship isn’t about avoiding difficulties, but about growing together through them. With the right mindset and these proven relationship tips, you can build a loving, lifelong bond that stands the test of time.

Unseen Depression in Couples Can Stall Counselling Progress

July 13, 2025July 13, 2025 Ramneek Kapoor

Note: The names in this article are fictional, but the cases are real‑life situations.

When Deepti contacted me recently, she was worried about her husband, Sameer. For quite some time she had noticed changes in his behaviour. He was often irritable and generally not the man she knew. She believed he was depressed, but Sameer avoided admitting it or seeking help. After much persuasion she finally brought him in for a counselling session, and I suggested she sit in as well. Couples counselling often reveals hidden dynamics.

After several sessions it became clear the issue was not only Sameer’s depression; Deepti was struggling too, although she hadn’t realised it. Both were in denial about their emotional health, each convinced the other was the one who needed help. I see this often: it’s easier to blame a partner than look in the mirror.

Denial and deflection in relationships

A common pattern is the “It’s not me, it’s you” mindset around emotions. People dislike admitting something is wrong—especially when the word depression appears. The stigma makes admitting depression feel like defeat, so partners shift all blame to each other.

Deepti’s words show this clearly:

“Sameer says our problems exist because of me, and he tells people if I weren’t depressed we’d be fine. But honestly, I think he’s the one who’s depressed. He’s always complaining, and whenever things don’t go his way, he lashes out at me.”

While Sameer focused on Deepti’s supposed depression, she was battling her own. Neither saw how their emotional states fed off each other. It’s common: partners fixate on the other’s behaviour and ignore their own mental health.

Emotional alienation and its cost

Marriage and argument go hand in hand. Differences of opinion are normal. Trouble starts when every disagreement turns into a full‑blown fight and no one can build a bridge. Depression magnifies conflicts, making everyday issues seem larger and more upsetting than they are. Minor clashes feel like assaults on someone already vulnerable, and couples retreat into isolation.

For Deepti and Sameer, depression ran deep. Sameer’s mood swings and blame‑shifting grew from his own struggles. Deepti felt constantly on the defensive and withdrew. Both wore emotional blinders; neither saw how their feelings fed the problem.

Depression and marital conflict

Depression in relationships doesn’t always appear as expected. One partner may feel the other is hostile when that isn’t true. A small irritation suddenly becomes a crisis. With depression involved, everything feels heavier.

What looked like a simple concern—Sameer’s mental‑health dilemma—revealed that both partners were depressed and that their relationship nurtured it. He became irritable and emotionally shut down, while Deepti felt frustrated and isolated—classic signs of emotional exhaustion.

Sameer believed everything would improve if Deepti weren’t depressed; Deepti believed the same about Sameer’s negativity. Neither realised their shared emotional state lay at the heart of the problem.

Many see depression as something that happens to “other people” or as a personal failure, so couples deny it and point to each other’s actions. Yet mental health in relationships is rarely individual; it’s rooted in how partners relate. If one struggles, the other feels the effects—even if they deny it.

Seema and Jatin: a layer of complexity

Every couple’s story is unique. Seema and Jatin (names changed) were young doctors starting their careers and life together.

One day Seema threatened suicide because Jatin chatted with female colleagues. It stunned him. He hadn’t thought of them romantically, and no amount of explanation eased Seema’s suspicions.

That single incident became a pattern. Seema’s insecurity and emotional instability drained Jatin. He pulled back from friends and family to avoid the drama at home. He told me:

“Seema has idealised suicide since college. We’ve been together seven years, and she throws tantrums only with me. She’ll break up over the smallest things, stay silent for days, then act normal. It’s exhausting, and I have no one to talk to—she seems fine around others.”

The emotional disconnect was huge. Jatin felt he was drowning; Seema didn’t know how to express her needs without terrifying him.

The effect of unmet emotional needs

Depression often grows from unmet emotional needs. Feeling unheard or unloved can spiral into inadequacy and depression. Seema needed Jatin’s attention so intensely that when she didn’t receive it as expected, her balance collapsed.

Jatin tried to hold everything together yet felt hostage to Seema’s demands. Their lack of emotional bonding fed both depressions, and neither saw a way out.

Breaking the cycle

How can couples like Deepti and Sameer or Seema and Jatin break free? They must acknowledge that depression isn’t just an individual illness; it’s shaped by the relationship dynamic. Each partner needs to see how the other’s emotional state affects their own.

Individual therapy helps one person’s conflicts, but couples therapy is vital because it shows how the relationship contributes to the problem. With shared effort, partners can address the emotional disconnect that fuels depression and change it constructively.

The power of mutual support

Marriage is a partnership. Each partner must care about the other’s emotional well‑being; no one can fix everything alone. Mutual support lifts depression and strengthens the bond. Deepti and Sameer improved only when they both accepted their depression and searched for ways to heal together.

Seeking help together

If you or your spouse is depressed, both of you need treatment. Depression is treatable, but it requires effort from each partner. Couples therapy can help you overcome emotional hurdles and rebuild your relationship.

Two are stronger than one. United, couples can find their way back. This isn’t about blame; it’s about knowing you’re in it together. Marriage is a journey, and depression can strain even strong relationships, but it doesn’t have to define them. Acknowledge its role, seek help, and face the road ahead as a team.

We offer family, relationship, and marriage counselling for families, men, women, and couples—whether you have children, are newly married, are considering separation, are divorcing, or are facing any relationship difficulty. We help partners understand each other’s mental and emotional states, improve communication, and overcome obstacles blocking their happiness.

Get in touch with us today or write to us at mansikpramarsh@gmail.com.

How to Identify and Set Boundaries with Emotional Abusers and Difficult People

July 12, 2025 Ramneek Kapoor

Identifying Emotional Abusers

We had earlier written about emotional abusers on this blog, and we’ve received a very positive response from our large number of readers and clients. Many were able to identify the abuse in their lives and managed to deal with it.

We feel it’s important to identify difficult people, self-obsessed individuals, insistent personalities, and narcissists. People can be hard to deal with in many situations—whether in an employer-employee relationship, student-teacher dynamic, sibling interactions, and especially in marital relationships, where both partners can sometimes act difficult, insistent, demanding, self-obsessed, or narcissistic.

Various strategies have been identified and adopted to deal with such people—from being firm to using isolation or not responding to their demands.

But the most effective strategy so far has been setting boundaries. This helps make them understand how far they’re allowed to go and how much of their behavior will be tolerated.

The “Setting Boundaries” Method

This technique helps manage interactions with emotional, commanding, controlling, or narcissistic people. The idea is to subtly show them that no matter what they do, your response will be bland, unresponsive, and uninteresting—like a solid wall. They begin to feel that interacting with you emotionally will lead to dull, detached, and unsatisfying outcomes. This signals that you’re not interested in engaging with their behavior.

This mental boundary-setting strategy has worked well for many of our clients dealing with toxic relationships.

Benefits of Setting Boundaries:

Takes away control by denying the emotional reactions they seek
Protects your emotional well-being and mental health
Limits exposure to manipulation, insults, drama, and conflict
Reduces stress and anxiety in difficult interactions

How It Works

Setting boundaries isn’t complicated. It just involves using simple communication techniques like:

Keeping interactions short and to the point
Using a neutral tone and facial expression
Avoiding eye contact
Responding with short, non-descriptive words
Staying calm and emotionally detached
Offering no explanations
Not defending yourself

Some call this “grey rocking.” If someone uses these behaviors to keep a narcissistic, unpleasant, or abusive person at bay, it’s a valid approach.

Keeping Your Mind Balanced

This takes time and practice. But once you get used to it, navigating tough interactions becomes easier and less draining.

Here’s how you can stay balanced:

Practice perceptive mindfulness. Stay aware of your emotional reactions and learn to manage them.
Know your boundaries. Be clear about what’s acceptable to you and what’s not.
Prepare responses in advance. Think through common situations and decide how you’ll respond neutrally.
Seek support. Talk to a trusted friend or therapist about what you’re going through.

We at Alka Mansik Pramarsh Foundation are here to help.
Reach us by email at mansikpramarsh@gmail.com or give us a call.

Understanding the Real Causes Behind Oppositional Behaviours in Adolescents

September 9, 2024September 10, 2024 Ramneek Kapoor

Note: The names and stories in this article are fictional and used to illustrate common scenarios faced by adolescents.

Joseph, a twelve-year-old boy, never quite understood why he was constantly at odds with those around him. Whenever he tried to express himself at home or school, his words were often misinterpreted as defiance. His father would rebuke him, and his mother would end up in tears, often blaming Joseph for the conflict. At school, he was labeled the troublemaker, isolated by teachers and peers alike.

Jatin, a thirteen-year-old, faced a similar fate. His teacher singled him out as the class disruptor, forcing him to sit away from his classmates, amplifying his feelings of embarrassment and rejection. Every time noise erupted in the classroom, Jatin was the first to be blamed, even when the real culprits were other students. Despite recognising his innocence later, the teacher rarely corrected the misunderstanding.

Swara’s parents were equally puzzled. Their once calm daughter had begun shouting back at them and her teachers, behavior they couldn’t comprehend. They viewed it as sulking and brought her to therapy, hoping for a quick fix.

These cases are not isolated. Many children and adolescents, like Joseph, Jatin, and Swara, are often labeled by parents and teachers as defiant, difficult, or problematic. They are frequently referred to psychologists or psychiatrists for behavior correction and treatment for Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD), ADHD, or similar issues. Concerns about aggressive outbursts, disrespect, truancy, self-harm threats, and even suicide attempts often drive parents to seek professional help. However, what often goes unnoticed is the underlying stress, trauma, and unhealthy family dynamics that contribute to these outward behaviors.

Teachers typically report uncooperative behavior to parents, who, in turn, resort to punishments or admonishments when corrective efforts fail. When these measures prove ineffective, they turn to mental health professionals with one primary expectation: “Just fix my kid.” Unfortunately, this approach overlooks the crucial role that parental involvement and a supportive, positive environment at school can play in managing and improving these behaviors.

Therapy alone is often not enough. Adolescents with ADHD, Dissocial Behavior, or Adjustment Disorder are likely to regress if they return to a negative or unsupportive environment at home or school. Without addressing the root causes and making holistic changes, relapse is almost inevitable.

In Joseph’s case, a few changes at school, combined with the support of an understanding teacher, led to significant improvement. He went from being labeled a troublemaker to becoming a favorite student among his teachers. Similarly, Swara’s parents became actively involved in her therapy, learning to adjust their expectations and create a healthier family environment. As a result, Swara became more tolerant and communicative, leading to a harmonious household.

We’ve observed that a comprehensive approach involving the entire family, as well as collaboration with school teachers, is the most effective way to treat conditions like ODD, ADD, ADHD, and Dissocial Disorder. At Family Therapy India and Alka Mansik Pramarsh Foundation, we advocate for a top-down approach that includes active participation from both parents and teachers. This holistic method has proven to bring about positive, lasting changes in the behavior and emotional well-being of children and adolescents without resorting to medication.

It’s important to recognize that behavioral challenges in adolescents are rarely about defiance alone. They are often expressions of deeper struggles that require understanding, compassion, and a collective effort from families, schools, and therapists to create a nurturing environment for these young individuals to thrive.

Coping with Betrayal: A Family’s Journey Through Post-Infidelity Trauma

June 6, 2024 Ramneek Kapoor

Discovering that her husband had been engaged in an extramarital affair for the past three years with a colleague was a traumatic shock for Shilpa (name changed) and her two children. The revelation devastated her, leaving her stressed and deeply depressed. It felt as though a heavy stone had struck her head. She felt dizzy, foreseeing a challenging time ahead for her and her children. Her heart sank as she saw her twenty-year marriage crumble in an instant.

Shilpa and Arun (name changed) had been married for two decades. They have an 11-year-old son and a daughter who had just turned 18 the previous week. Until this revelation, their family life had been typical of a middle-class, educated household. They experienced occasional arguments and some disputes between husband and wife or mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. However, no one could have anticipated that infidelity would threaten their relationship at a stage when it was believed that their marriage had weathered all storms and smooth sailing was ahead.

The traumatic stress that enveloped the entire family after the revelation of Arun’s affair must be understood in a broader context. It’s a common misconception that such a situation affects only the couple and has minimal impact on other family members. This is far from the truth; the emotional scars run deep for all family members.

The traumatic shock of discovering infidelity brings about intense stress for the entire family. The impact of such a revelation can be as devastating as a natural disaster, mentally, socially, emotionally, and financially uprooting the family. Post-Infidelity Traumatic Stress Disorder (PITSD) needs to be assessed not only on the family as a unit but also on each individual member.

In Shilpa’s case, the effects of PITSD were profound and pervasive.

The Wife’s Struggle with Self-Esteem and Trust

Shilpa lost all confidence in herself and suffered from low self-esteem. She couldn’t comprehend her husband’s infidelity, which shattered the world she had built around him over twenty years. She frequently experienced somatic pains and sleeplessness. At times, her memory was affected, and she would forget minor details about herself. Although frequent visits to her psychiatrist and psychologist provided some relief, the persistent pain and the haunting question of “why” kept resurfacing. Recovery from PITSD seemed like a distant goal for her.

The Children’s Silent Suffering

The children also suffered from PITSD. The looming breakup of their parents’ marriage cast a shadow over their lives. Their son, unable to side with either parent, retreated into silence. He spoke in low tones and used very few words to express his needs. This resulted in neglect of his studies and self-care. However, the situation brought the siblings closer together, offering each other the comfort and support their parents could no longer provide.

The Daughter’s Emotional Turmoil

The daughter struggled to cope with the situation. She believed that if she had paid more attention to the family dynamics over the years, the affair could have been avoided. She was engulfed in self-remorse. Any discussion about the affair triggered severe depression, and she would start crying uncontrollably. Her father, whom she had seen as an infallible hero, had let her down profoundly. She ended up fighting with both her parents multiple times a day, refusing to listen to any explanations from her father. She developed an eating disorder, and her physician diagnosed her with Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS). PITSD doesn’t affect just one individual; it disrupts the entire family system. As family therapists, it’s crucial to focus on the couple as a single unit, but in such cases, it’s evident that the sub-systems within the family also need as much attention and intervention as the main couple.

The Strain on the Unfaithful Spouse

The revelation of infidelity is traumatic for the unfaithful spouse too. Arun felt miserable, knowing his children were aware of his actions. He faced constant guilt and the wrath of his partner. A defiant attitude had been manageable while dealing with his spouse alone, but the reaction from his adult daughter and adolescent son was too intense to ignore. Consequently, his business suffered, he experienced nightmares, and visits to the family therapist became frequent.

Addressing Post-Infidelity Traumatic Stress Disorder (PITSD)

PITSD is a condition that needs to be taken seriously. The profound impact on all family members requires a comprehensive approach to healing. Here are some essential steps for addressing PITSD within a family:

Acknowledgment and Acceptance: The first step is to acknowledge the pain and accept that healing will take time. Both the unfaithful spouse and the betrayed partner need to recognize the trauma caused by the infidelity.
Therapy for All Members: Individual therapy for each family member and family therapy sessions can help address the emotional wounds. A professional therapist can guide the family through the healing process, providing tools to cope with the trauma.
Open Communication: Encouraging open communication within the family is crucial. Each member should feel safe to express their feelings and thoughts without fear of judgment. This can help in rebuilding trust and understanding.
Support Networks: Leaning on support networks, such as friends, extended family, or support groups for those affected by infidelity, can provide additional emotional support and practical advice.
Self-Care and Coping Mechanisms: Each family member should be encouraged to engage in self-care practices and develop healthy coping mechanisms. This can include physical activities, hobbies, or mindfulness exercises that promote emotional well-being.
Setting Boundaries: Establishing clear boundaries can help in managing interactions and reducing conflicts. It’s important for each family member to understand and respect these boundaries to create a safe environment for healing.
Rebuilding Trust: Rebuilding trust is a slow process that requires consistent effort. The unfaithful spouse must demonstrate genuine remorse and commitment to change, while the betrayed partner needs time and space to heal and eventually rebuild trust.
Focus on the Children: Special attention should be given to the children’s emotional needs. They may require additional support from school counselors or child psychologists to help them process their feelings and cope with the changes in their family dynamics.

Infidelity is a painful and challenging experience, but with the right support and strategies, families can navigate through the trauma and emerge stronger. Understanding the profound impact of Post-Infidelity Traumatic Stress Disorder and addressing it with empathy and care is essential for the healing process. Each member of the family deserves attention and support to rebuild their lives and move forward.

Selecting the Perfect Family Therapist for You

May 8, 2024 Ramneek Kapoor

It’s commendable that you’ve made the decision to seek help from a professional family therapist after much consideration and encouragement. This is an important step towards addressing the issues within your family dynamics. To ensure that this endeavor is fruitful, it’s essential to choose the right therapist who can understand your situation, provide insights, and assist both partners in making informed decisions with confidentiality.

Choosing a family therapist is not merely about finding a professional to listen to your concerns; it’s about selecting a compassionate and knowledgeable guide who can navigate through the complexities of familial relationships.

Take Seema’s experience, for example. She faced marital challenges but was hastily taken to a psychiatrist/psychotherapist by her family, overlooking the underlying relationship issues. This rushed decision led to wasted time and resources, as well as unwarranted stigma attached to Seema.

To avoid such pitfalls, consider the following guidelines:

Research Online: Begin your search by exploring family therapists in your area or those who are available for sessions online. Pay attention to ratings and reviews from verified clients.
Seek Recommendations: While discussing personal matters with friends might be challenging, remember that family therapy encompasses a broad spectrum of issues affecting various family members. Some friends or family might have valuable recommendations based on their experiences. Keep in mind the importance of confidentiality, but also remember that all therapy sessions are strictly confidential.
Review Client Feedback: Read comments and recommendations from previous clients to gauge therapist satisfaction levels. Trust your instincts when evaluating feedback.
Consider Therapist Gender: Choose a therapist whose gender you feel comfortable with. Some clinics offer both male and female therapists, and some even provide couple therapy with both partners.
Differentiate Between Family Therapists and Psychologists: Ensure that the therapist has specific qualifications and credentials in family therapy, in addition to a psychology degree. Family therapists specialize in relationship dynamics within families, while psychologists focus more on individual psychological issues.
Schedule Appointments: Don’t procrastinate reaching out to therapists. Make phone calls to discuss your needs briefly and schedule appointments for in-person visits. While online counseling is an option, face-to-face sessions may be preferable, especially if multiple family members will be involved.

By following these steps, you’re on track to finding a family therapist who can provide the support and guidance needed to navigate your family dynamics effectively.

A Guide to Understanding Couples Therapy

April 21, 2024April 21, 2024 Ramneek Kapoor

In many societies, the mere mention of seeking help from a psychiatrist or psychologist can evoke a plethora of taboos, fears, and stigmas. But what about the journey of couples who dare to seek assistance from a family therapist?

In this blog post, we will talk about the challenges couples face in accessing therapy, the signs indicating the need for professional help, and the process of couples therapy itself.

Breaking the Taboo: Accessing Couples Therapy

Picture this: a couple caught in a whirlwind of disagreements and disputes, yet hesitating to seek professional help. Why? Because in their society, approaching a therapist carries the weight of stigma. It’s seen as a step towards airing complaints against one’s partner, a move laden with fear of judgment from family and friends. So, instead of seeking support, many couples choose to suffer in silence.

The reluctance to access therapy stems from the pervasive belief of “What would people say?” Couples fear the repercussions of disclosing their marital problems to their social circles, preferring to keep their struggles hidden. But as we’ll explore, recognizing the need for therapy is the first step towards healing a fractured relationship.

Recognizing the Signs: When to Seek Help

When is it time to reach out to a family therapist? The signs are subtle yet significant. When communication devolves into constant irritation and arguments, when love dwindles, and acceptance wanes day by day, it’s time to pause and reflect. Resentment towards one’s partner or a loss of interest in shared activities are red flags signaling the need for professional intervention.

Yet, despite these signs, many couples hesitate to take the plunge. The fear of judgment, coupled with societal pressure to maintain appearances, acts as a barrier to seeking help. However, it’s essential to recognize that seeking therapy is not a sign of weakness but a courageous step towards rebuilding a fractured relationship.

The Therapeutic Journey: What to Expect

So, what does the process of couples therapy entail? It begins with an introductory session where the therapist delves into the couple’s issues, family dynamics, and communication patterns. This initial assessment provides a foundation for deeper exploration in subsequent sessions.

Contrary to popular belief, therapists do not serve as judges or mediators. Instead, they act as facilitators, guiding couples towards understanding and resolving their conflicts. Topics explored in therapy sessions range from in-law relationships and household responsibilities to communication patterns and sexual dynamics.

A skilled therapist helps couples gain new perspectives on their relationship dynamics over sessions spanning several months. Through open communication and negotiation, couples gradually rebuild trust and acceptance within their relationship.

Overcoming Stigma: The Importance of Seeking Help

In societies where seeking therapy is stigmatized, breaking the silence surrounding mental health is crucial. By sharing their experiences and seeking support, couples can challenge societal norms and pave the way for others to access the help they need.

It’s time to destigmatize therapy and recognize it as a valuable resource for couples facing challenges in their relationship. Seeking help is not a sign of weakness but a courageous step towards healing and growth.

Conclusion: Empowering Couples to Seek Help

In a society where stigma surrounds mental health, accessing couples therapy can feel like an uphill battle. Yet, by recognizing the signs and overcoming the fear of judgment, couples can embark on a journey towards healing and growth.

Through open communication, negotiation, and the guidance of a skilled therapist, couples can rebuild trust and acceptance within their relationship. It’s time to break the silence surrounding therapy and empower couples to seek the help they need to thrive.