A young lad or lass in his or her teens need to be paying attention to the school curriculum and playing with the mates but instead if a child of this age become a problem for the family and the school , there is bound to be a cause and consternation amongst the family, teachers and the well wishers of the child and the family.
We have recently been getting some cases of young children behaving oddly in the families . The young ones defy their parents even for small errands . They insist on not going to schools . These children refuse to listen to their parents. Some of them go even to the extent of fighting back with their parents.
The parents have to understand that children usually are defiant .They like to oppose their parents for many reasons. Obedience may not always be expected too. We all will like to have independent thinking , self decision making children if the decisions made by them meet our expectations. During their normal growth and development , individualism of human nature does exert itself at times when oppositional behavior against the order and the expected gets expressed even by the young.
The young children want to grow up and their desire to gain freedom from control gets intense, around the ages of two and three, and again in early adolescent years .
For any parent however an uncooperative, disobedient and aggressively hostile behavior of their ward becomes a serious issue when it is frequently , fiercely and arrogantly expressed by the child.
Opposition of any kind by the child becomes glaringly visible when it is compared with other children’s visible obedient and docile behavior .
This kind of defiance and disobedience gets very strainful and stressful for the parents and other members of the family. It affects the academic life of the child in addition to being counted as an unsocial child within and outside the family circles .
Looking for the the signs of Oppositional Defiant Disorder : It’s not easy for any parent to notice differentiation between normal defiance and the oppositional defiant disorder (ODD) from age related normal defiant behavior by their children . Symptoms of the disorder start appearing , in noticeable happenings on various occasions.
Child and parental conflict related problems are common in families.
Families have various levels of tolerance for the opposition by their children . In some, a disgruntlement to the rules produces major stress for the parents , while in more friendly , social and tolerant families , opposition by children and occurrences of bad behaviors by the kids are largely overlooked till such times as they cause relationship problems .
In children affected with ODD, a systematic pattern of , anger, aggression and the uncooperative, defiant, and aggressive behavior toward authority can be seen. Such opposition by the young ones regularly hampers the day to day functioning within the family . The children suffering get flayed tempers at times. These children become hot headed and short tempered.
They argue with adults. They take pleasure in fighting back against adult rules.They refuse even minor adult requests. They look for opportunities to deliberately annoy others.
The same defiance continues – at home, in school, in the neighborhood .
Such behavior is not necessarily the result of a conflict with a particular parent or teacher.
They begin with holding others responsible for their mistakes.They become grumbling kind and they often behave touchy, arrogant , resentful, spiteful and vindictive. Some children engage in mild physical aggression and fight back physically too . Their language becomes aggressive, abusive and obscene. A kind of power struggle within the family begins with these children.
Their struggle may be noticed in terms of food for choice, clothes to wear or simply in selecting a place to sit too. During infancy oppositional episodes must have occurred at the time of their feeding, eating, toilet training, and sleeping etc. , but went unnoticed because of motherly love and affection . Children with ODD regularly insist on postponing the work in home and at school and they find strange reasons to procrastinate.
They ignore parental directions and their teachers orders. They would often pretend to forget or fail to hear . They are often referred to for memory exercises but we have to understand that it is not the memory or hearing problem but the problem relates to obeying what was expected of them.
As the child grows up the issues such as keeping the room neat, taking baths, doing home work on time , not watching television for longer times, not interrupting while elders are talking or talking back, crop up.
In all such small small quarrels and fights , winning becomes the most important aspect of their struggle. At times a child with ODD will deliberately forego and rather lose cherished privileges, in order to prove a point and win the argument. The child will exhibit .continuous opposition within the home environment. He or she will act completely resistant and uncooperative in the class room . On a serious side the child continues with his or her defiance towards the established authority . The child may not be in a position to understand the difficulties or even get an inkling of his or her being in the wrong.
Such children as said earlier look for the reasons of their troubles in others behavior and in the other circumstances. external circumstances. There is always an inherent scant respect for the the rules and discipline. The child enjoys challenging anyone who exhibits some kind of authority.
How can we help you: At Family Therapy India ,our special program for managing Oppositional Defiance Disorder is supported to help children and adults to overcome the symptoms associated with ODD by our regular daily counseling sessions/mental exercises/ preksha meditation and Kayotsarg. Hundreds have benefited, it is your /your child’s turn now. Call 09179383554 or email: mansikpramarsh@gmail.com.
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